Sunday, August 22, 2004

common test results

i received news only just now from dp that we didn't do all that well for our english. apparently there are no a1s, only a few a2s and three failures. ominously it sounds just like chinese 'o' levels eh? in any case, this isn't the time to collapse and mope. i've fallen two grades for both lit and english, and i do feel horrible. i guess there's no way around it other than to simply work harder. this is the last 100 metres in our 1500 metre dash for the gold medal. it's been a hard journey and i'm sure we've all wanted to collapse, give up and just weep. i know. i had such an episode a few months ago when the commonwealth essay competition results were released and i wasn't in the list. it wasn't my fault, frankly, since my entry was never submitted, but i still felt horrible. i think i really felt like dying for those two days after that. was functioning on nothing but willpower then. the second day after that we had chem prac, and i nearly killed myself with frustration. really thanks to felicia, su phei and yulin for putting up with me. in any case, i was about to leave and go home and maybe continue banging my head against the wall, but mrs lim stopped me and ultimately taught me how to do the practical properly. i managed to get the result in the end and i suddenly felt much better. didn't feel so useless after all.

so i guess there's always a silver lining in every cloud. no matter how bad things get, no matter how terrible your results are - think a different way. if you got a C6, think about those who failed. if you failed slightly, think about those who can't even speak or understand the language. there's always something good in every dark cloud. i got a b3 for my lit, yes, but that has reminded me that i really do need to start working harder for it. we may feel depressed, down and despondent, but you have to reach out for that sliver of light yourself. there's no point pitying yourself or feeling bad, because it won't do anything towards making you feel better. in any case, this is just a common test. school tests don't even matter to us anymore. no matter what we get now, what truly matters are our prelim results and our 'o' level results. so mons, don't get yourself down okay? this is the last 100 metres, but we can still catch up with opponents before us if we put in that extra bit of energy; if we are willing to fight with our very last breath. i believe we can do it! ganbatte, everyone! wo ye hui jia you de!

zx said at Sunday, August 22, 2004